Your Wedding Ceremony is a Foundation to Your Marriage
In this article, Harriet Lerner shares 12 “simple steps” for a sustainable marriage. It’s filled with good advice and I encourage you to read it. What struck me as particularly applicable to your wedding day was suggestion #1: Respect Differences:
Respect Differences. We all view reality through different filters depending on our culture, gender, birth order, genetic makeup, and unique history. A good relationship requires us to stay emotionally connected to a partner who thinks, feels, and reacts differently, without needing to change or fix him up (emphasis mine).
This is particularly true for your wedding day – I have presided over many a wedding ceremony and witnessed the magic that happens when a ceremony is perfect for both of you.
Another of her tips is #8: Sweat the Small Stuff:
Sweat the Small Stuff. When you say you’ll do something, do it! Never assume that your overall contribution to the marriage or household compensates for failing to do what you say you’ll do, whether it’s cleaning up the coffee grinds or moving your boxes out of the garage by Sunday. When your partner makes a reasonable request, she needs to know her voice can affect you, and that she can count on you to follow through.
How does this relate to the wedding ceremony? I often am the last call on a bride’s to-do list and that’s ok – when I was planning my own wedding, who was going to marry us took a back seat to where the reception would be and who might be taking our photographs. But even if your wedding ceremony is coming up soon, make sure you choose a wedding officiant who will sweat the details for you!
Your wedding ceremony can unite your families
Your wedding ceremony certainly has the potential to divide your families. But it can also unite them if crafted with their unique perspectives in mind. When I write a wedding ceremony, I usually start by looking at what is common to both the bride and groom and to their different backgrounds. Whether they come from different faiths or cultures, there is bound to be some overlap. The wedding ceremony is a fantastic place to highlight what is similar while respecting what is different.
If you need a wedding officiant who can balance your individuality with your life as a couple, who can build your marriage on the respecting of differences, then feel free to contact me. I would be honored to serve as your wedding officiant and write a wedding ceremony that is meaningful and personal for you!
